Are you a working mom?
Stay at home mom?
A mom who loves travelling, or who loves her job, or a mom who likes to knit?
I’ve barked up this tree before, and yet, here I am again. Bark bark. We are moms- or dads- but we’re something else beside that, too. And most of us have had that day when we’re finally done with our work day- or finally done with whatever the mountain of chores and tasks that needed to be done at home for you brave SAHMs- and we just want to be done. The thought of doing anything else, and I mean anything, makes your head spin. You’re a person- but the kids suddenly think you’re a human jungle gym. You feel tired, exhausted even, and smothered with the needs of your family.
In short? You’re just feeling done. Inside and outside.
NEver felt this?
Lucky. I wish I was you. Whether you work a 10 hour day or a five hour day, everyone’s stress is unique and usually valid. What might be a lot for me could be easy peasy for someone else. At the end of the day, everyone has a limit- and when you’ve reached that, it can be extremely difficult to rally and continue on this journey that we’re on.
Because at the end of the day? the world keeps spinning.
The sun keeps shining, the kids keep growing; and oh yeah- they’re hungry again. They need another glass of water. And just ONE more bedtime story- please?!
There can be an immense, overwhelming sense of guilt and grief when it comes to parenthood. You’re always pushing yourself to be the best you can be for your kids, to do your best and try to do anything and everything in your power to provide the absolute best life possible for your kids.
There’s a saying I’ve heard-
“Don’t work to give your kids everything you never had; work to make your kids everything you wish you were.”
I used to focus so much on making sure and swearing to myself that the girls wouldn’t want for things that I might’ve wanted for growing up.
But material things aren’t what matter- it’s character traits, and life lessons, and memories. Now, I can’t imagine any of the three girls will say they want to learn to be brave for Christmas, but that’s a whole other issue. But years and years down the road, (maybe even more than that, too) they’ll be appreciative of what I’ve taught them.
And one of those things will be to take care of yourself. To fill your own cup. To put myself as a priority- so that they know they’re important, too. If they grow up, seeing their mom & dad taking care of themselves and each other, being their own independent people in a wonderful relationship, they’ll know that that’s what they’re looking for when they reach that season in their lives.
Not only that- but I don’t have to feel GUILTY. I’m a whole, separate person outside of being a mother. I’m someone who loves to sing, and dance. Who loves to work, and to bake when I’m stressed, and who used to enjoy country dancing on an occasional Friday night (back in high school, that is.) Not a frequent drinker, but occasionally I do dabble. All of these things make ME who I am, and there is NO REASON we should lose these traits because we’re adding a new description to our job title.
First and foremost, I might be “mom.”
But I am also so much more than that. And so are you.
Don’t forget to remember the rest of yourself.